Wow.....what a RIDE!!!

Hello to ALL! Long time NO post, eh?? Sorry!!!! It's been a BIT crazy.......awesome, but CRAYYYZZZEEEE!!! As you can see I FINALLY found a DRESS for Janet's wedding! PRAISE God!!! I thought it was going to be horrific....but everything was a BREEZE, and I can actually say, QUITE fun!! I am VERY happy with my choice, and so is Janet!! Funny, between HER and my Mom, they both kept telling me how THIS is a dress that I can wear AGAIN!!! OK....after the third time.....I told them...I WILL NOT WEAR IT AGAIN AS IT WILL BE HUGE!!! It is not my intention to EVER wear any of this life again!!!! HHAAAHHAAA!!!

OK...enough about that!!! DRUM ROLL PLEASE???? Today I weighed in AGAIN.....and..........down 92.4!!! Holy cow...I can NOT even believe this!!! I was reading an old email to someone when I was at 57, and now I am at 92? Seems soooooo far away! This is ALL so AMAZING!!!

And FINALLY, I had my "moment" I have been waiting for FOREVER!!!! While working my folks garage sale, a lady asked me if I would take less for a nightlight. I was talking with her, and she said, "Do you go to Church, I mean my Church, I mean Christ Lutheran?" I told her I did. She said, "Are YOU the one who runs the entire VBS?". I told her yes. She then said, "Have you lost a TON of weight?". OK..this is where I heard the choir of Angles singing....FINALLY someone noticed!!! Finally someone I do NOT even know, NOTICED!! Of course, I have NOT been doing this for ANYONE but ME, but MAN did that feel GREAT!!!!!! It was an A-HA moment for sure!!!

Another thing I am experiencing is NOT hating myself in pictures...I actually am still freaked it's me now. It's THAT much of a change, it's fun to see! I still have a long way to go, and my skin and etc is HANGING with me (ugh...literally), but like my brother Ron told me...BETTER THAN THE ALTERNATIVE!! Praise God to that!!! And a swim suit is NOT the scariest thing to be in ANYMORE...and the day I can comfortably wear a tank top, without wiping out ANYONE with my arms.....will be a DAY for me!!!

Now.....I have been going through a BUNCH of "axillary clothes", as I call them, from the past skinnier days, and I am exhausting these options more and more. I am ON the LAST bin.....it should get me through the rest of this summer and warmer fall!! The BEST part was trying on clothes from 92.4 pounds ago, and literally seeing how HUGE they are, and how LONG the pants and shirts are! To me, that was another A-HA moment! I am trying this stuff on, unzipping and unbuttoning...WHAT WAS I THINKING....I can fit TWO people in there now! Mind set is not there yet! I see why they say, the fat person is ALWAYS still inside!!!

Sandy, our choir director from Church, has lost OVER 70 pounds, and has slimmed up...I finally reamed into her a few weeks, BEGGING her for her old clothes! I promised I would only be in them for a month or so!!! And she delivered! So now I have some bottoms and some dressy shirts too!!! And she is a SHARP dresser too! So now I am REALLY examining her clothes...they could be my possible WINTER wardrobe!!!

I finally got back to the GYM yesterday, since my KNEE excursion!!! Did pretty well...took it easier, but the elliptical and I ARE friends...the BIKE and I may have to part ways for a while (sniff sniff)! Thank GOD for the brace I have...may need to get another for the OTHER knee......Sheeeeze...patch patch...PATCH!!!!

Let's see what else is happening.........my hair is slowly falling out...NOT BALDING.....but for me it seems a LOT!!! So I have been using special shampoos and conditioners for it, and I am gonna say...ROGAINE and I started becoming friends!!! It wont last forever, so I Will go with the punches for now! You would NEVER know if you looked at me...thank GOD I have ALWAYS had a BIT of BIG hair syndrome......gotta keep it ALIVE!!! Hahhhaaaaa.......

I see the Doc on the 8th of September for follow-up! This is considered the THREE month check up!!! It will almost be four months by then, but we JUST missed the cut-off, for our group, as they try to schedule our appointments around a support class. It's insane......it would be awesome to HIT 100 when I go in there!! Two weeks...hmmmmm....probably!!!

Well...I know there is more I could write......but I can't remember ALL I wanted to. So in between blogs, I shall start writing my thoughts down!!! Oh, and as far as the FOOD thing goes....it IS getting better! Still comes and goes, and I still have days where I feel BEYOND nauseated by ANY food!!! But I am getting better. The more I eat, the better my metabolism is as well, which has helped! I am NOT starving myself or my BODY! I only bite off as much as I can chew...LITERALLY!!!!

OK......that's all the updates now!!! Morgan's school schedule and evening High School meetings for us ALL week......and then there is that special kindergartner...HE starts THURSDAY! What a WEEK!

Thanks for ALL your love, support and PRAYERS! I can FEEL them ALL!!!

Love and God's RICHEST Blessings to you,

Linda

Oh My WORD!!!!!! Hello to you!!! What an awesome 4 weeks I have had!! FIRST OF ALL...............drum roll please...........67.2 pounds lost in 9 1/2 weeks??? WOWOOWOOWW!!

The transformation is still intense! People ARE noticing.....but I am STILL getting the "pretty make-up"; "new hair do"; "unemployment must be agreeing with you, you look so rested"....BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! Some of my family sides haven't commented.....well except for the hair, make-up, rested, lines!!! I don't care...I see it and it is GREAT!

I had to sign BACK up at the gym again....need the WHOLE package with equipment AND cardio...it has made a difference already as well! Clothes that I was wearing three weeks ago, are already too big...it's actually becoming a bit aggravating (if you can believe that)!!! What a great problem huh? I just want to make sure I still have clothes to wear for the rest of summer into September!!

I have been going through BINS of clothes I have NOT seen in five or more years!! There's beautiful clothes, some STILL with TAGS!!! Wot woot....so It is FREE shopping spree for me....very fun!!!

So VBS is done, and all went AMAZING!!! What a rough long six months, but it is ALL worth it!! The kids next year are going to think they have a new DIRECTOR next year, I CERTAINLY will NOT look the same as I did THIS year!!!!!

The past two weeks I have been reconnecting with my kids! It has been a Dylan Day almost EVERY day, which has been fun! I missed out on all the spring weather and fun outside with him and Tim, so this has been awesome for US!! Mo and I even spent some time together, which is hard with her crazed schedule!!! We have enjoyed Ron's pool very much..........a tan I finally HAVE!!! I was the WHITEST one in church!!! An old tight swimsuit that was used a few times has been re found and adjusted to fit me...so that has been GREAT!!

I am STILL having food issues....and my DOC assured me it will go away! It's that NAUSEATED feeling I get thinking or SMELLING food.....it is HORRIBLE! He said some people NEVER get this, and a lot do...could last through 6 months but it WILL go away! He is VERY happy with my progress thus far!!! I CAN get down my mom's homemade spaghetti sauce...believe it or not...needs to make more of that! AWESOME!!! Cheese curds have been a help too.........and cukes and watermelon I am LOVING..and salsa with light chips (but no protein there)!

So.....all in all, not a BAD 9 weeks huh? Dropped what....5-6 sizes??? The seat of the car is soooo much further up, Dylan said "you musta cleaned your car out, because I have so much room for my legs now"! Crossing my legs (like a man OR a woman) is nice!!! Tying my shoes without having them up in the air as I couldn't reach them...NICE!!! My self esteem to speak to people, ANY people, has increased, as well as the confidence I have in myself....EVERY WHERE I GO! I don't feel people are starring at me!! It is INSANE!!! The list will go on and on.....

Now I have to watch this protein situation, as my hair WILL start falling out and thinning, so I have started some precautionary measures to help that decrease as much as possible. Plus my DOC said I can take two protein shakes a day for 30 grams of the protein, but that's hard too!!1 I also have come to the conclusion that when I go two days or more without the POTASSIUM drink, it DOES affect my shoulders...so I have been VERY strict with that one!

Ok....enough for now......feeling great, feeling less and looking ahead!!! Thank you all for your love and support...it IS what really keeps me going! I am SOOOOO blessed!!!!

Love and God's RICHEST Blessings to you,

Linda

Oh my I am slacking!!!

OK...seriously I have NO time due to VBS...so...here is a quick update! Been over 4 weeks now.....I have lost 48.4 pounds! I have gotten into some new clothes, that I just HAPPENED to have in my closest that I have NEVER worn...TAGS still on!!! I also was given some clothes from one of my new friends from our support group.....so that was FUN!!! New swimsuits, shorts, Capri's, shirts.....AWESOME!!!

Today we are getting Mo from her trip to Colorado!! Sooooo exciting!!

All for now.......VBS is ruling THIS girl!!!!!!!!!!!

Love and God's RICHEST Blessings to you, Linda

I promise next week to show before pics

Come on....it's only been THREE weeks???

Hello to all!!!!! Hmmmmm.....been just over three weeks since I came home from the hospital. This seems insane to think it's ONLY been THAT long??? This seems like it was MONTHS ago! Sooooo weird!!! I DID hit 44 pounds Sunday, but haven't weighed myself again...I am sure it IS more!!! Crazy!

I have had a couple weird stuff happen to me! First of all, I have had INSOMNIA sooo bad! It's the weirdest thing! I can pass out watching some TV about 12:00am, and be DEAD asleep...about 2:00 or 3:00 WIDE awake!!! This has REALLY had me catch up on some fun movies, and a LOT of Three's Company and MASH episodes on TV land!!! It's just so weird......and I WILL stay awake all day too!!!


The other WEIRD thing since a WEEK ago Sunday, is my shoulder and back joints have been killing me! I literally was OUT of commission Monday - Friday with my right shoulder unable to move my arm up and down...that subsided a bit and worked it's way out by Saturday. Sunday the exact pain was in my LEFT shoulder and STILL is...it is CRAZY!! So I am heat "padding" it up when I can, and heat "rubbing" it all day. It is eventually gonna be better, but it's cramping my style for sure! I can't even wear a regular bra, so I have been UNIboobing it all week...sorry if too much info!!! See....when I started driving last week, I was being so careful getting in and out of the van so I didn't hurt my insides and incisions, so I was PULLING myself up and in with my right shoulder, which makes sense why it was hurting. Then my left shoulder is probably bad because I have been LIVING on my computer for 10 - 12 hours at a time getting ready for VBS, and I sit at my dining room table to do it! So...THIS is the dilemma THIS week....I just want to feel OK again....because otherwise I am feeling great!!!


I have been able to eat two meals a day (2 OZ meat a sitting), which is soooooo difficult! The smell of food still nauseates me STILL, but I have found a few chosen foods that I can handle. ONLY eating meat, for right now IS extremely difficult! You want something else for your palate......and chewing your food until it becomes a different color....well....it takes a LOT away from things!! Baby steps....due time, DUE time!!!



We had FOUR graduations in our family in ONE week too! Tim's nephew Ethan from HS; Brittany from College; Haley from HS and Justin from HS (also Luke, he's like a nephew to us)! So it has been an EXCITING week!!! I had no current picture so I used the one with Justin...MAN I LOVE that KID!!! I love them ALL!!



I had a wild thing happen this weekend......well, first of all it was a GREAT weekend! I was able to work on VBS for FOUR days with NO interruptions or places to go. I missed out on the wonderful weekend weather, but I was able to put myself in an organized way and not in a PANIC for the weeks to come (as much anyway)! My family (including my Dad) all helped with the weeding, and cutting back flowers an pulling out things etc...the yard looks soooo nice...what a wonderful gift! On Saturday, Tim and I celebrated our 18th anniversary (together for 23)...well we haven't "celebrated" it in a while, as it typically falls on memorial day and we just want to be with our family. The funny thing is, I just kept convincing everyone that Monday was the 30th, NOT Sunday....I WAS soooo wrong! That night about 7:00, we were invited to Ron's house for an evening swim. I finished my work for the day, Tim was spent from the day, and Mo was off somewhere. So Dylan, Tim and myself went to Ron's with a steak and potato dinner.......AND a SWIM! It was great to get out and that water was JUST what I needed for this healing body! The funny thing was, Ron NEVER remembered it was our anniversary, but talked about HIS!!! Soooo funny!

Anyway...as we returned from his house, about 10:30 to ours, I noticed a BIG BLACK GARBAGE bag on our doorstep!!! I immediately was freaking out wondering what it could be. Tim comes in about 10 minutes later with it and says...It's 4 bags of potatoes.....I am like...."WHAT? GROSS? WHO THE HECK WOULD LEAVE POTATOES IN A BAG LIKE THAT? GROSS...THROW THEM AWAY I DO NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM...YUCK!!!". Well, about TEN minutes later, he tells me there is a NOTE inside. I am less freaked now, but still wondering. It was from our wonderful friends, Bobbi and Paul. We have a LONG running joke on potatoes so I was seeing the connection, except, it was NOT what I thought! Inside she writes "just wanted to congratulate you on how great you are doing, I read your blog, and wanted you to SEE what 40 POUNDS looks like"!!! Is that GREAT or what??? Oh my word......they live 1/2 an hour away and drove all the way to drop them off to prove a point! AMAZING...that made my day! Wow...so 80 pounds, we are gonna have one hell of a baked potato party!!! Get ready Bobbi and Paul!!!

We also had BOTH of our cars DIE this week...so that has been expensive as well as UNPLEASANT!!! Tim's transmission (cha ching), and mine needed and extensive TUNE UP with lots of new parts and etc...(cha ching), but hopefully we will have them back soon and be up and running again!!! The FUN never stops!!

My friends are starting to call me the incredible shrinking woman.....it's GREAT! I feel great and LOVE what I am seeing (and the clothes that keep getting too big)! I ask you please keep me in your prayers for continued healing; patience and strength! It's a new life......and it is NOT easy, but God has blessed me with all I have so far and continues to do so, especially with ALL of you on my side! I LOVE you all!

Oh, and I promised my friend I would put current before and current now pictures up, but I am in my nightgown and don't want my NOW to be that...so TRACY, I will post NEXT week!!

Have a GREAT rest of your week....stay DRY!!

Love you all.....

Love and God's RICHEST Blessings to you,

Linda





Thanks sooooo much for your continued love and support...I feel like a QUEEN sometimes!!

Has it been TWO weeks????

Sooooooooo hard to believe that just TWO weeks ago yesterday I was praying to God....thanking him for ALL the blessings he gave me in my life...and for THOSE more yet to come!!! Boy was that an understatement huh???

So the DOC on Friday said all is well. Just gotta get that protein in. PROTEIN and I are NOT friends! Why can't BREAD have protein in it??? Well, the mush meat is over with.....just straight up protein! Now...Ham, and chicken, and.....whatever else was mushed up the first week.....um...well, now.....GROSS!!! My tastes have changed soooo much, and my scents for food even more so. Like when I was pregnant....VERY ODD!!!!

So a TRIP away we went this weekend for Our Nephew Ethan....I thought I was ready....but I was SOOOOO not ready!!! It was 2 1/2 hours in the car, then sitting around at the party....let's just say...italian beef and I did NOT get along, so I was sick til about 2:15 AM!! Horrible day.......but Sunday was better, but I was sooo glad to get OUT of that car!!!

Yesterday I got on the OLD Bike (stationary only for now), and SLOW. I have to say, I missed it! So I will be BACK in form in NO time!!!

I don't go back to the Doc til July 7th, and hopes I will find what else I can do....WEIGHTS!!! And VEGGIES???? BREAD??? (nah just playing with ya!!!)

Today was the first time I was able to DRIVE again.............and in TRUE Linda fashion....it was a CRAZY day!!! From 7:00am until 6:31pm, as I am sitting typing this BLOG!!! I even made dinner for my family!!! But I did GREAT!!! A bit sore, and VERY tired............but ALIVE and CAPABLE!!! What a feeling of normalty I entered again!!! Yippppeeeeeeeeee...if only I could EAT!!!

Yes I said that...EAT!! I never thought in my 42 years on earth I would say that.....but it's getting worse. SO the DOC told me to at least have two protein shakes a day and the 2 oz meat, just so my body doesn't go into starvation mode! I FEEL LIKE I AM DRINKING CONSTANTLY....it's INSANE!!! I kept up really good with it, until TODAY as I ran around town ragged!!! So another balance of how I can fit it all in.....THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!! IT'S ONLY BEEN TWO WEEKS!!!

On that note...the next FOUR weeks I am entering RIGHT NOW are the craziest for me, as VBS is around the corner. So I will balance this, the family and VBS as well as I can!!! On a GREAT note I have HIT 38 pounds gone! Finally my summer clothes from last year are loose, and the winter stuff I just wore..TOO BIG!!! Pretty wild! People that don't know about the surgery, comment on my hair, or my makeup, or that I just look DIFFERENT but good! HOW fun! Another 38 pounds and they will hopefully do MORE than that!!!

Thanks again for all the prayers and the kind words...and FAITH IN ME. It means absolutely everything to me!!! It REALLY does!

I love you ALL!!!

Love and God's RICHEST Blessings to you,

Linda

It's been a week......27????

Goooooooooodddddd Morning!!!!

WOWOW....this week has been a TRIP!!! Every day has been DIFFERENT, every day has been BETTER, every day has been a BLESSING!!! It's hard to believe it is ALL over...I mean DONE......so intense to wrap my head around that! THIS IS HARD for SURE.....but man, I would rather be concentrating the rest of my life on food that's going to make me HEALTHY and live, than the food that was creating me NOT TOO!!! So this task I am HAPPY to endure for the rest of my life!!!! Especially everyday I see the scale drop, and drop, and DROP!

Wow......seriously??? THIS IS REALITY!!! HOW AWESOME!!!

I have NoT weighed myself today, but I have LOST 27 pounds in three weeks!!! What a trip!



So.......to say this is hard for me is bitter sweet.........seeing those numbers fall, I know will FAR out weigh (no pun intended) the rest of the issues!!! And it IS hard, but I am sooooo excited, I am seeing changes in soooooo many ways already! I AM BLESSED!


So..........a week since surgery and I am gonna say it....STILL ON VICCADIN, and if ANY of you REALLY know me, you will know I do NOT like taking drugs, but I feel I still need it! So at the risk of being miserable and making everyone else miserable....GIVE THEM TO ME!!!


I am healing nicely and am still pretty sore.....guess disconnecting your stomach and making a new one, PLUS hernia surgery, can lead to a bit to pain and healing! But overall I am eating blended up foods and it is wonderful (never thought in a million years I would say that!)!!! I know crazy, but it is nice to have the TASTE of the food, even though the consistency is not there! Next weekend we trek down to Tim's family, as his nephew is graduating High School. New temptations, new experiences.....but I will be able to eat REAL food of protein by Saturday, so that will help me in a social setting!


Ok...well...raining here today! My folks have Dylan for the day, and I am going to focus on my email collection so I can clean it up and keep forging ahead on VBS! Baby steps Linda...remember Baby steps!!!


Wish me luck! Nah.......I don't need any of that!

Love and God's RICHEST Blessings to you,

Linda

OK.......Thank GOD it's Friday!!!

Sooooo.......today is Friday the 14th......just just a mere four days after surgery! WOW......what a road its been...and I am sooooo BEYOND Blessed! All is well! My surgery was GREAT...they also took out a hernia, so that was GREAT!! That was a big part of my stomach issues from Fall till Spring, so I am glad that is OVER!!! Let's talk scars??? So there are 10 spots all over this inflated and deformed stomach of mine! One in which is rather LARGE from the MAJOR area of insertion of LAPRO Surgery land...and the hernia removal!!! Then where the blood DRAIN was.....yeeeeeuck......lets just say...Major HOLE!

OK...enough with all that.....my days in the hospital on the GLORIOUS pain pump, at my BECK AND CALL, are a MERE memory....which made Wednesday at home a bit more difficult. Spreading out time with pills and feeling the pain in between doses of GOOD DRUGS. Let me tell you, I am NOT a FAN of pain killers, or much medicine, but WHY the heck am I gonna keep myself in pain?? This was a MAJOR surgery....bring on the VICADIN, and I did. And it's helped!

So, the BED is NOT a place for me right now.....and besides my Back surgery 20 years ago, I have NEVER wanted a recliner more than I do NOW!!! But the couch and I will be friends for a couple more days!!! This too will pass, and I will once again be with my wonderful SNORING husband!!!

I endured a LONG Teddy Bear picnic for five hours, where DYLAN CURRY was the STAR of the show for sure! So that was awesome....even did a few flights of stairs up and down! Tam, my wonderful Christian friend and Hairstylist, washed and styled my hair for me before hand so I didn't have to deal with that......so I looked nice for the picnic! That was awesome! The guests were Janet, my folk's; Tim's Dad and PJ; Leanne and the STAR's parents all there for him! What a GREAT day! I felt HUMAN!!! And my shirt and pants are already too big to wear, but I had to!!! Loving this! Wowoowowoow!

Home I went.....after the long day....took drugs, and believe it or not, DID NOT PASS OUT....caught up on some TIVO...which was cool, but it all started to become boring...FOUR HOURS OF TV ALL AT ONCE? Come on, when was the last time you did that??? Well, I guess I did it last after my thumb surgery, but when you go like I do ALL the time, it was hard to sit and chill. I was lonely crabby and felt lazy! But today I apologized to my family here, and let em know that I KNOW rest is what I need, and the funk of me going through it will get better!! I have to come to realize that this too shall pass, and it is TRULY what I HAVE to do to get better!!!

I will say, yesterday was my first experience with FOOD in four days...we did scrambled eggs. Quite honestly I was NOT hungry or AM I hungry. Which is hard to say or imagine, but if I do NOT make myself eat I will die...and I don't particularly care for that type of life!!! HAHAHHAH!! I did NOT have a good first impression with food......because I drank too much liquid before I ate and it just had No WHERE to go....so three hours later...UP IT came! GROSSSSSSS.....so I hope to have learned from that mistake.....today I tried tuna and so far so good!!! I can have a protein shake in place of food for one meal, so that will be a bit easier! Baby steps....Linda....baby steps!

So.........Leanne is still here with me through Sunday, and I am starting to feel a bit more human, so I can finally spend some fun time with her these next two days! I am actually having conversations in full sentences and laughing again, so I hope she is seeing the real ME coming through again!

So....each day is new....each day will only get better! The experience at Silver Cross was NOTHING shy of WONDERFUL, and I REALLY mean that! It was just GREAT!!! I look around my house and it is like a floral shop...the plants and flowers people sent!!! And all the MEALS and food?? My word, I just wish I could eat it...hahhahha! To say my family soooo happy, is a complete understatement! Oh my...I am glad all of these gifts are a reminder, because most of my first two days are a BLUR! Sorry about the drugs...they took any sense of my being totally away from me! Now, a few bandages, a belly band, and some pain still haunt me..........as well as my poor black and blue arms from all the needles( I am A JUNKY....hahhhahhaa)!!! All in all...I am GREAT for what I endured!!!!!

I AM blessed with wonderful family being here for me, from afar or close; being supportive for me now and in this awesome new future that is before me; ALL the prayers and love I have received and KEEP receiving; a wonderful husband who is soooo excited for me and OUR new life together; and kids who know I will be here for THEM!!! I am BLESSED I woke up after the surgery (completely in la la land)....and that I had an AWESOME surgeon who did what I needed and then SOME!!! The blessings WILL keep coming, and it is sooo hard to keep thanking GOD for them...hard in a humbled way!!! I will NOT stop thanking him!!!

Thanks to my GROUP of BMI new friends, for we will ALWAYS have this incredible bond between us of friendship and support! It was wild to take our hourly strolls through the hospital and visit as we all shared the same BOND of surgery and wellness! So GREAT to know we are all going through the same things!

Ok.....so there ya have it....my week so far! Life is good.....feeling a bit more human and like myself, and soooooo excited to see what each week comes!

Thanks for loving me soooooo much...it means EVERYTHING to me!

Love and God's RICHEST Blessings to you,

Linda